Can Sex Toys Help in Sexual Trauma Recovery?

Sexual trauma is a deeply personal experience that can leave long-lasting effects on a person’s sense of self, their relationships, and their connection to their own body. Traditional therapeutic approaches like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Prolonged Exposure (PE) have provided essential tools for recovery. However, as conversations around trauma healing evolve, new methods and tools are emerging to help survivors reconnect with their bodies and reclaim their sexuality. One such tool gaining attention is the use of sex toys.

This brought me to the question: Can sex toys really help in sexual trauma recovery? According to my research, the answer is yes—when approached thoughtfully, they can play a valuable role in the healing process for many survivors.

Sex Toys as Tools for Reclaiming Sexuality

After sexual trauma, survivors often experience a disconnection from their bodies and may develop negative beliefs about sex. Common themes include “sex is unsafe” or “I’m not deserving of pleasure,” which can significantly hinder sexual health and well-being. For many women, these experiences result in sexual dysfunction, including difficulties with arousal, orgasm, or desire.

This is where sex toys can be an unexpected ally. They offer a way for survivors to reclaim their sexuality by rescripting the negative beliefs tied to their trauma. In my study, 100% of participants—a group of 39 women survivors of sexual violence—reported that using sex toys was “overall helpful” in their recovery. Many shared how these devices helped them view their bodies as capable of pleasure, shifting away from the harmful narratives that trauma had embedded in their minds.

Sex toys give survivors control over their sexual experiences, allowing them to explore pleasure at their own pace and on their own terms. This autonomy is a critical step in reclaiming power over their bodies—a power that was taken from them during their traumatic experiences.

Sex Toys as Tools for Exposure Therapy

One common therapeutic approach for trauma is Exposure Therapy, which involves gradually reintroducing a person to the thoughts, situations, or sensations they have been avoiding due to fear. This approach helps desensitize trauma triggers over time. For sexual trauma survivors, this often means avoiding anything related to sex, intimacy, or physical touch altogether. Yet for many, avoiding these experiences reinforces the fear.

Sex toys provide a safe, gradual form of exposure. They allow survivors to explore physical sensations in a controlled way, without the pressure or unpredictability of partnered sex. For example, a survivor might start with external stimulation using a vibrator, gradually becoming comfortable with touch and pleasure again. Over time, this gentle exposure can help reduce anxiety around sexual activity, enabling survivors to move toward partnered intimacy if and when they feel ready.

Mindfulness and Reconnecting with the Body

Mindfulness-based therapies (MBT) are gaining traction in trauma recovery for their ability to help survivors stay present and reduce the automatic emotional responses tied to trauma. One key aspect of recovery is learning to stay present in the body—an area where sexual trauma often causes dissociation.

Sex toys can aid in this practice by allowing survivors to focus on physical sensations in a way that grounds them in the present moment. In my research, many participants described sex toy use as a kind of mindfulness practice, where they could engage with their bodies without judgment. This practice helped them reconnect to their bodies in a positive way, cultivating a renewed sense of ownership and self-awareness.

Sex Toys as Tools of Empowerment

One of the most striking findings from my research was how sex toys helped survivors feel empowered. Sexual trauma often leaves individuals feeling powerless and disconnected from their own pleasure. By using sex toys, survivors can actively reclaim control over their pleasure and sexual experiences. This empowerment is a key aspect of healing, allowing survivors to redefine their relationships with their bodies and assert their autonomy.

Several women in the study emphasized how choosing to use a sex toy was a form of taking back control—deciding when and how to experience pleasure on their own terms. This act of empowerment can counteract the helplessness often felt after sexual trauma, helping survivors feel more confident in their bodies and more connected to their sexual selves.

Navigating the Complex Emotions

While sex toys can offer many benefits in sexual trauma recovery, it’s important to acknowledge the ambivalence that some survivors may feel. Not every experience with a sex toy is positive, and for some, it can even trigger past trauma. Common concerns include moments when a toy malfunctions, which can interrupt an intimate or healing moment, or instances where the use of a toy might feel like avoiding deeper emotional work.

That said, these moments of ambivalence don’t negate the positive impact sex toys can have. Like any tool in trauma recovery, sex toys are not a one-size-fits-all solution. They work best when integrated into a broader healing journey that includes professional guidance, self-reflection, and a focus on both emotional and physical well-being.

A Holistic Approach to Healing

Ultimately, sex toys are just one piece of the puzzle when it comes to sexual trauma recovery. They can help survivors reconnect with their bodies, experience pleasure in a safe and controlled way, and reclaim their sexual agency. When used alongside other therapeutic interventions—such as CBT, mindfulness, or somatic therapies—sex toys offer a practical tool for survivors to begin healing on their own terms.

It’s essential to approach this exploration with care and self-compassion. For survivors considering incorporating sex toys into their recovery, I recommend doing so in a way that feels comfortable and safe. This could mean starting slowly, with a simple toy or external stimulation, and taking time to reflect on the emotions that arise during the process. Working with a trauma-informed therapist can also provide additional support and guidance.

Conclusion: Taking Back Control

Sexual trauma recovery is a deeply personal journey, and every survivor’s path is different. While sex toys may not be a solution for everyone, for many survivors they offer a powerful way to take back control over their bodies and pleasure. By giving survivors the tools to reconnect with their sexual selves in a safe, mindful, and empowered way, sex toys can be a valuable addition to the healing process.

If you’re a survivor, remember that your recovery is your own, and only you can decide what feels right for you. Whether through therapy, mindfulness, or exploring your body with the help of a sex toy, the journey to healing is about finding what works for you.

About the author

Dr. Holly is a leading expert in sexual health based in Orange County, certified as both a clinical sexologist and AASECT sex therapist. With extensive experience in sex therapy, sexual wellness, and relationship counseling, Holly provides evidence-based insights to clients in Orange County, the state of California and beyond. Recognized for expertise in sexual trauma recovery, sexual dysfunction, and intimacy, Holly is dedicated to empowering individuals with practical advice and research-backed strategies. For more, follow Holly for expert advice on sexual health and relationships.

Visit www.thehollywoodsexologist.com to learn more and request a consultation.